Are you a REAL builder? Here are the golden rules...

 

Builders are not like anyone else, we all know that- but did you know that there are certain rules you have to stick to if you want to be a professional builder in the UK? We’ve written them all down for you…

1. Dashboard

Always make sure the dashboard in your van is crammed with petrol receipts, chocolate bar wrappers and all sorts of other crap. Make sure it almost blocks your view when driving. No one will take you seriously as a builder if you’ve got a really smart and tidy van. Fact!

2. Promises

It’s always best to keep your customers and clients on their toes by NEVER turning up when you say you will. Turning up several days after you’ve promised and seeing the looks on your customer’s faces is always great fun. The element of surprise is worth its weight in gold!

3. Builders are Sweet!

 A neighbour recently told us, “I’ll never have builders in again – cos I can’t afford the sugar bills!” You’ll never get any building work done unless you’ve got a body full of sugar – that’s a scientific fact, that is. Seven sugars is an absolute minimum in your mug of tea for effective working.

4. How to quote for a job

You’ve got much more change of landing that huge building contract for H2 or whatever it is, by making sure your quote is written on the back of a fag packet. Don’t even think about writing a fancy quote and sending it via email. The Channel Tunnel was awarded after a local builder handed in his fag packet with his ‘estimate’ on. Well, so our mate Brian told us when we were drunk in the pub once.

5. We swear this is true!

If you want to be taken seriously in the building industry, you must remember to swear at least once in every sentence, and talk about your forthcoming holiday in Spain at least once every hour.

6. Grub

Only Greggs pasties are allowed on site, apart from Fridays when it’s fish & chips. Never ever take a salad and hummus sandwich with you if you work on a building site. Not if you want to live!

7. Hair

No matter what work you’ve been doing on site, you MUST always return home with your hair covered in cement dust. No one will believe you’ve done anything unless your hair is grey. Fact.

Be a proper builder

Look, If you're going to be a 'proper' builder, you'll need the best products at the best prices - and that's where we come in! Whether you're after bollards, door barriers or cycle stands - we've got them all and lots more!

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